The mother of all Kasams - Sanam teri Kasam

Sanam teri kasam, because as Kanan Gill states, the GOLDEN RULE of swearing is, higher the stakes more the credibility. 

(Please note: Due credit has been given beforehand to avoid any controversy of stealing punchlines; and also to catch your attention Kanan!)

Returning to our topic at hand, the movie stars some brilliant actors who will mesmerize you with their acting prowess. It begins with dapper Indar winning the first case of his life. By the way no prizes to guess he is a lawyer. Indar returns HOME after his first victory, (Do not be a middle class now. When I say HOME please imagine a colossal palace with a beautiful lush green backyward.) 

In this era of encroachment wherever did he live !!!!

and fondly stares at a tree in his backyward on whose trunk are inscribed the words, Saraswati Parhar.

 So far picturesque

(Please note: In so far so good, ‘so good’ was purposefully avoided and replaced with picturesque to demonstrate emphasis on what may keep you hooked on to the movie. The scenery at the beginning and the actor(hopefully))

The movie is a flashback. Back in his hey days our hero was a classic debauched young man who romanced women in the most unholy way possible. To add to his colourful resume, he served a sentence in prison for allegedly murdering his uncle. Son of a top notch criminal lawyer but currently voluntarily abandoned, rich as f**k our hero is the walking personification of “undercover good guy” (He took the blame on himself to save his mother who killed the uncle in an act of self defense). But for all that matters Indar, our hero, is tall, dark and handsome. Whatever expressions he lacked on his face he  made up for them on his physique! (Darn! Abs are distracting) Basically he has a good guy face with the bad guy body.

Abs are distracting!!! 

But behind all this physical glory, is a troubled past that our hero is battling, ALL ALONE!!!! So lonely he is that he is yearning for love and care. 

AAAaaaWWwwwwwww...

Now on the other side we have our female protagonist, Saraswati Parhar, a sanskaari damsel in distress. Even a magnet doesn’t attract as much iron as she attracts troubled waters. Always chasing some outdated principles and ending up with Mr. Handsome. (Makes note to inculcate a few principles myself)  Winsome like hail she would melt right through your cold hearted judgemental mind which has already (deliberate exaggeration)  started  perceiving her with a long braid, nerd glasses, bindi, untamed eyebrows, innocent eyes with an adorable smile. (This look was obtained after a lot of efforts under special guidance of experts. Viewers are requested to not fall for this unrealistic girl next door look by attempting to replicate the look unless you want to look homeless and scare off all people alike.)

Cuteness overload!!! 

Saraswati and Indar are neighbours. The first time our protagonists cross paths, Mr. Handsome is sniffing at his girlfriend (which I guess was an attempt at depicting an after make out scene) and Ms. Thumbelina is gearing up to go for work together with her father. Mr. Handsome falls for her the moment he sees her and Princess doesnt even notice him (actually she was timidly following her father into the elevator. Not her fault.) 

As the occasion of thumbelina's sister's marriage nears a series of problems unfold in thumbelina's life. First she is given an ultimatum of one month to get married off because she is the elder sister.(because that is the logical thing to do when you have an unmarried elder sister!) Then she is charged of being unchaste because she was spotted with Mr. Handsome on more than one occasions, late in the night, ignoring the fact that Mr.Handsome was brutally hurt and she was simply nursing him because the injuries were partly her fault. Then she gets disowned by her parents with a simple "meri beti maar gayi" because after triple talak that is the seond most easiest way of disowning relations.  But all this while guess who stood by her side like a rock ?! Mr. Handsome indeed. 

SSSIiiiighhsss

However cruel life was to her, one good thing was Thumbelina struck gold literally and figuratively when it came to having a guy friend. He was not only hot and rich but also could give makeovers that would put fairy godmother to shame !!!! So after one such makeover they return home in the hopes of finding an IIT- IIM suitor for Ms.Thmbelina as this was the only way she could seek forgiveness from her uptight father.

Recipe for Forgiveness:
Step 1- Make an unchaste mistake
Step 2- Marry an IIT IIM Brahmin religiously sound guy
Step 3- You are forgiven

Forgive he did not, at least not yet, the father leaves no stone unturned in killing his daughter metaphorically by conducting her furneral. Now that any attempts at making peace with Papa were ruined, why waste the makeover. She leaves for office with Mr.Handsome consoling her. (I would kill for him. Seriously!!!)

Thumbelina who is a librarian has a crush on her boss. Unrequited love but only until her makeover. Her makeover results in her boss , who is an IIT-IIM alumnus, liking her back. (Please Note: Not just as a friend) They plan to marry. Dont be relieved, didn’t i tell u she is a magnet for all troubles. Her boss jilts her at the altar. She anyway leaves for her honeymoon suite with Mr. Handsome(obviously). She completely breaks down at the suite, weeping like a baby while Mr. Handsome consoles her as he always has since day 1.

Love is blind. But so dumb ?

In case you are already wondering, Yes! Yes they do like each other but for whatever reason they both think they are not suitable for each other.

Anyway while in the suite, seeing her distressed and drowned in sorrow he “acquiesces” to her request of making love to her. (Friends with benefits ;)) Such a dude! But this sanskaari Thumbelina forsakes him the very next day. Absolutely no appreciation for kindness right? Well no.
So now when problems could not get any worse for her, she discovers that she has brain tumor from her ex fiance! 
The movie captures what the holy Geeta evidently missed, bhagwaan says tathsathu to every curse or blessing parents give. Now that explains the brain tumor.(Remember the funeral rites carried out by her father.) 

Now when the ex fiance meets her(to inform  her about the tumor) Mr. handsome sees them. She texts him goodbye (because educating him about this would unnecessarily save time.) and Mr. Handsome does the maths (because misunderstandings dont take time to fester in this movie right from the start.) She would be dying soon but unlike any sane person she decides to spend whatever little time she has away from her beloved ones while Mr. handsome decides to labour under a huge misunderstanding until he has wasted enough time. Meanwhile thumbelina runs off to a monastery in some faraway place. 

But wait our hero who is no less than the legendary Sherlock Holmes. He breaks all the shackles of misunderstanding and what not. He finds her but after some action packed parkour stunts performed while fleeing from the police station. Despite of this, the kind hearted policeman forgives him because our hero wishes to do the noble task of proposing the girl he loves. Finally they are happily married. 

I'll leave the part where you want to know if she succumbed to the tumor or not, for you to discover. 

Now who would not want to watch such a movie!!!!